A couple of months ago I met this woman river walking. It’s a great place to meet people I have found! It’s a way to network in the water. I am getting a workout and working on my business. How can it get any better than that? I suppose with a sale in the water. That would be fun too! Yet meeting new people is something I really look forward to. I am always learning and growing when I meet someone new. It’s an opportunity to see into the life of someone else, and find out what their passions are. This woman I met is a dynamo in the stock market, she calls it her addiction, and since I met her, I have been reading about stocks voraciously for months! What an adventure! Yet she also spurned a thought in me: why has money been so elusive to me over the years. What has caused me to push money aside and not make it important? It’s almost as if the money has been hidden from me.

I have never been much interested in stocks as I have my money invested in mutual funds. Over the course of the last several months, I have attracted unbelievable amounts of information around money and how to manage it. There are so many choices on what to do with money it can be overwhelming for me. This conference I attended a few months ago was so chock full of money information I developed a headache which stayed with me until I returned home. Talk about opening your crown chakra! This was a crown and third eye EXPOLSION! It means my consciousness has shifted. Whoopee!!! Yet I did not reach this place until I had walked through some massive anxiety.

This past summer was a roller coaster of calm and anxiety. Lucky for me I have learned how to manage my anxiety and actually embrace it and walk through it, knowing I will emerge on the other side stronger and more powerful than before. (As a side note, these supplements do help and I gobbled down a whole bottle this past summer as I was a wreck at times! Try them they work! )

I do not normally have anxiety so when it shows up, I know it means I am changing a picture in my subconscious mind to reach a goal or change a behavior. I also use meditation, walking in nature, and calling a friend I trust to relieve anxiety so put those on your radar as well!

Yet back to money. What is my relationship to it? Why does it ebb and flow? Why for so long did I not want to face it or didn’t care what was going on with my money? What caused me to make it unimportant and almost non-existent? One simple answer: my awareness. I had let it leave my awareness because I had had a lot of money in my life. I had been very successful in sales for a long time and had everything I could have ever dreamed of yet didn’t know myself. Do you know yourself? I read this quote recently, “You can live a lifetime and at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself.”–Pilot and writer Beryl Markham. How does that hit you????!!!

My money issues also have a lot to do with the Divine Feminine and HER suppression over the years from the patriarchal conditioning. Did you know that priestesses held the keys to the banks!! Whoa! I let money go out of my consciousness. I stopped having a relationship with it. I stopped caring and I wanted someone else to take care of it and me. Which means it became hidden….or I turned over the power of my money to someone else, namely my former husband and my ego, and thought it would take care of itself. It didn’t! (I let go of my self-worth in more ways than one and women have been doing this for centuries!) What a massive lesson. Yet it goes along the lines with all the other learning I have had to do about my physical, mental, emotional, sexual, spiritual being. Seeking the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth is hard work! It is just one more piece of the pie I am filling. I’m working on it;) I hold the key to my future when it comes to money. It is not hidden anymore. Financial freedom is knocking at the door! I am ready to open it!!

To your wealth and abundance,

Melissa

photo credit: @till_indeman

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